Bringing Down the Boost

Princess Margaret Secondary school located in Penticton, BC, seems like the perfect learning atmosphere for an interacial society. Kids having marvelous relationships with one another, as well as with their teachers. Some might say it seems like a utopian society built among these students. That is, if you've merely sauntered through.

A rising concern for parents in Penticton is constantly resurfacing, and some are saying it's a pandemic, spreading more vigorously than hungry ants encroaching upon an innocent picnic. From weeks of observation of Penticton's Princess Margaret Secondary School, it has become clear that it's a place of stress and turmoil for most. It's evident that many kids are victims of the new aged, "Boost Bullying". There have been numerous cases of kids committing suicide saying "[they] thought [they were] king of the world." Other's attest that "death can't overcome [them]." The cause of this, over complimenting until reaching a point of divinity.

Parents and staff of the school are vigilant of Boost Bullying, and are struggling to resolve the issue. They're aware that "kids just can't feel good about themselves anymore. Soon enough, we'll have to enlarge the door frames to enable their enlarged heads to fit through." Said the principal, Don MacIntyre, after yet another case of, "challenging death". Staff at Maggie are always in the process of gathering kids for the "You Can't Be the Change Even if You Wanted To" workshop. The objective in the workshop is make sure kids know they are all abused, then they state why they are using slogans like "you're scum, you look like my bum." Kids in the school are said to have nominated the kids for this workshop, even though none recall doing so! First they took the grads, knowing that if their confidence was brought down enough, it would reflect on the junior students who idol the grad class for the first time in years. "Grad 2011 is truly despicable", says Vice Principal Trevor Robinson, "Junior students take their words for religion." The workshops are a great success. Kids cry their hearts out during each excersise, but the vigilators make sure they prevent them from continuing becuase "crying is for the weak, you'll never reach the peak."

Since the crack down on Boost Bullying has been going in full tilt, (as of fall 2010), the schools suicide rate has decreased by more than 21.37%. That is a number that isn't divisable by many, as I'm sure you've noticed. The number of suicides is outstandingly disgusting. I'd rather not state the actual number to avoid a riot from occuring, and potentially causing a civil war. So lets just leave it at that. The decreasing rate is giving hope to the faculty and student body of PMSS however. The rate is decreasing so steadily that it's estimated that a level of stability will be achieved come spring of 2011. Now parents can sleep peacefully knowing that their children aren't smothered with confidence.

The One

In a nut shell, I am amazing. To express all my accomplishments would be daft, considering everything I engage myself in could be considered an accomplishment. Proclaiming them would take an eternity, and in doing so, I'd prevent myself from enacting more in my life time. Take this application to your school, known as Yale, for example. I wouldn't of completed it, unless I knew it was completely necessary to give you fair warning that I'm headed your way. It may take a bit of preparation, on your part, to acquaint my presence for the duration that I desire. Although I see post secondary as being futile for myself, it's necessary to make my resume predominant over all others.

I am a prodigy. Critics catechize whether I am a mortal. "If there was a word that could add emphasis to 'brutally prodigious'; that would define Nick Chapman," proclaimed one perplexed journalist after witnessing me annihilate a great white shark with my bare hands. I'm not one to boast, but I am the one. The one who ended WWII. The one who helped my good friend, formally known as Jack the Ripper, go undetected. The one who gets up at 7am every week day. The one who wrote the bible. Humanity questions whether I am God. I beg you, do not worship, but embrace me. I am the future. Now, the future of the future is in your hands. Embrace me from the high heavens. Seize what is rightfully yours, and let this plane land on your domain. I will be seeing you, come this fall.

Yours Truly,

The One,

Nick Chapman

Fearless, Prospers

There have always been tentative feelings towards the big moment. One girl exclaimed, "It was the most depressing experience," after she went through hers. Others claim it was the best time of their lives. It's safe to say that graduation is an emotional time for all. Whether it be full of youthful elation, or self-loathing confusion. Graduation is emotional.


Throughout the year, a question continuously presents itself, haunting every grad student: "What are you doing after graduation?" The most common answer is "I don't know," in fear of choosing the wrong topic to study, or job to pursue. Truth be told, so many people go through multiple career changes throughout their lives, so it's common for someone to just start over. Having the same job for 30 or 40 years could turn you into a drone, unless you truly chose your passion. This relates to why people travel. You go to a new country with new people, prices, activities, and living conditions, looking for a new experience. If you can manage to learn from your experiences, no matter how emotional they are, it's tough to decifer the bad in it.